Eminent poet
Richard Cadogan is feeling bored and middle-aged and so he decides
that he needs a holiday. His publisher, Mr Spode, suggests that
Cadogan spends a few days with him but Cadogan spurns the offer:
'”Can you give
me adventure, excitement,
lovely women?”
“These
picaresque fancies,” said Mr Spode. “Of course, there's my
wife...” He would not have been wholly unwilling to sacrifice his
wife to the regeneration of an eminent poet, or, for the matter of
that, to anyone for any reason. Elsie could be very trying at times.'
Despite the
proffered attractions of Mrs Spode, Cadogan decides to holiday in
Oxford. On the journey from London, after several pints of beer, he
mistakes his stop and eventually arrives in Oxford in the early hours
of the morning. Walking through the deserted town he notices that a
shop door is unlocked. Wishing to check whether there are burglars on
the premises before he makes a fool of himself by raising the alarm,
Cadogan enters the shop. 'The beam of his torch showed the small,
conventional interior of a toyshop, with a counter, cash-register,
and toys ranged about it – Meccano sets, engines, dolls and dolls'
houses, painted bricks, and lead soldiers.'
Exploring further,
into the living rooms, Cadogan discovers, lying on the floor, 'the
body of an elderly woman, and there was no doubt that she was very
dead indeed.' He has time to ascertain that she has been
strangled by a thin wire and then he is knocked unconscious. When
Cadogan regains consciousness he is locked in a small backroom. He
climbs out of the window and makes his escape and goes to alert the
police. However, when he returns in a police car to the scene of the
crime:
'The police car
drew into the kerb. Half rising in his seat, Cadogan stopped and
stared. In front of him, its window loaded with tins, flour, bowls of
rice and lentils, bacon, and other groceries in noble array, was a
shop bearing the legend:
WINKWORTH
FAMILY GROCER AND
PROVISION MERCHANT
He gazed wildly
to right and left. A chemist's and a draper's. Further on to the
right, a butcher, a baker, a stationery shop; and to the left, a corn
merchant, a hat shop, and another chemist...
The toyshop had
gone.'
The police are kind
but dismissive, assuming that, at best, Cadogan is suffering from
concussion and, at worst, is quite mad. Cadogan turns to his old
university friend, Gervase Fen, shelving the long-rankling fact that,
'”It was you who wrote about the first poems I ever published,
'This is a book everyone can afford to be without.'”'
Fen is not a
credulous man but he is far more willing than most people to think
outside the box and discuss the substitution as something that has
occurred. For Cadogan it is a great relief to have a matter-of-fact
companion to help him investigate. 'Something like relief was
coming back into Cadogan's mind. For a while he almost wondered if he
were, in fact, suffering from delusions. Belying all outward
appearance, there was something extremely reliable about Fen.'
Cadogan and Fen are
now faced with the task of sorting out what is going on. As Fen says,
if one works on the assumption, “that toyshops in the Iffley
Road do not just take wing into the ether , leaving no gap behind:
what could inspire anyone to substitute a grocery shop for a toyshop
at dead of night?”'
The investigation
to answer this question, not to mention identifying the murdered
woman and discovering her murderer, leads Fen and Cadogan on a series
of bizarre and sometimes violent adventures, meeting some
extraordinarily eccentric villains and and a damsel in distress in
the shape of an attractive, very frightened girl called Sally. Fen
calls on reinforcements from his colleagues and students, notably the
ancient Doctor Wilkes and Hoskins, an undergraduate with a remarkable
way with women. At one point Fen postpones his lecture on Hamlet in
order to enlist the aid of his students to escape from the police
officers who are pursuing Fen, as he explains: '”Not for any
crime I have committed, but simply because, in their innocence, they
do not know that I am tracking down the perpetrator of a particularly
cold-blooded and brutal murder.” Here there was some
tentative applause from the back. Fen bowed. “Thank you.”
The Moving Toyshop
is a book of many chases, culminating in a pursuit with Fen and the
murderer trapped upon an out-of-control steam-powered carousel. One
of the most amusing pursuits in English literature must be when Fen,
Cadogan, Hoskins, Sally and Dr Wilkes (the latter on a stolen
bicycle) attempt to head off a villain, aided by a large selection of
students, and pursued by assorted villains, and the outraged proctors
in a small car. P.D. James paid tribute to Crispin's frivolity and
his comic sense. Certainly, his comic timing is impeccable, as when,
towards the end of the hunt, the villain, 'turned left into South
Parks Road, tree-lined and pleasant, with the rout still
indefatigably pursuing. Two classical dons, engaged in discussing
Virgil, were submerged in it and left looking surprised but unbowed.
“My dear fellow,” said one of them, “can this be the University
steeplechase?” But, as no enlightenment was forthcoming, he
abandoned the topic. “Now, as I was saying about the Ecologues-”'
The plot is fantastic and some of the coincidences are too
far-fetched but none of this matters. Crispin acknowledged the
absurdity in the front page where most writers content themselves
with assuring the reader their characters are fictional. 'None but
the most blindly credulous will imagine the characters and events in
this story to be anything but fictitious. It is true that the ancient
and noble city of Oxford is, of all the towns of England, the
likeliest progenitor of unlikely events and persons. But there are
limits. E.C.'
The Moving
Toyshop is regarded as Crispin's greatest novel. Gareth Roberts
said that his Doctor Who novel, The Well-Mannered War was
modelled upon Crispin's style and that The Moving Toyshop was
'more like Doctor Who than Doctor Who.'
The Moving
Toyshop was dedicated to the poet Philip Larkin, Crispin's friend
and contemporary at Oxford. Larkin is also mentioned in the book; a
mischievous aside, referring to him as a student of Fen's. In return,
Larkin said of Crispin, 'Beneath a formidable exterior he had
unsuspected depths of frivolity.'
The Moving
Toyshop is a delightful book, witty, intriguing and full of
action. It is Crispin at his best.
ISBN:
978-0-099-50622-5
Published by
Vintage Books
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